Publication date August 14, 2023
5 signs you are being love-bombed and not loved.
Sometimes being loved and being love-bombed can feel the same especially if you are a novice when it comes to love and relationships. So, what exactly is love-bombing and how does one know the reality behind their partner’s lovey-dovey feelings?
In the beginning you will feel like you are swept off of your feet and you have found the love of your life and even lucky as if you are on cloud nine if it’s your first ever relationship. Love bombing can sound like a normal term to express excessive love shown by a partner but do you know it's like a sneaky snake hiding behind a veil called love, because all that it is – is a form of emotional abuse. Shocking, right?
Source: The Good Men Project
How will you know if the person has genuine feelings for you and has fallen in love with you? You might want to read further to understand the difference in being loved and love-bombed.
Five signs that possibly shows you are being love-bombed -
Excessive Showering of Gifts
Source: The Knot
Gifts are an expression of love and exchanging them are an important part of a loving relationship. But it could be a red flag if you are being showered by too many gifts all the time. Sometimes these gifts are not even symbols of love but all they signify is an expectation. Love bombers could even say that “ I gave you so many gifts, flowers every weekend, expensive bags and jewelry, and you still can't spend another hour with me?” Not only this, but most of the gifts are unnecessary, extravagant and too early in the relationship. If you have found yourself getting a lot of gifts and favors on the first date or first few weeks of relationships, know that you are getting love-bombed.
Rushing to Commit
Love bombers have got no chill when it comes to rushing to the next stage of the relationship even though they have just recently met you. They throw up words like my soulmate, the love of my life, my future wife, etc without ever acknowledging it from you. They also kinda rush through the feelings without letting you feel it. They might even go to the lengths of introducing you to their parents, friends and extended family by keeping it under the wraps until the very last minute. In any healthy relationship there is no need to rush, and the partner will never not discuss moving to the next stage with you. If you are left out from this decision it's a clear sign that you are being love-bombed.
Flattery At its Peak
Source: Psychology Today
Flattery is one of the tactics used by love bombers. Flattery can be done through actions as well and not just words and these love-bombers are experts in this art of deceit. They are constantly looking for ways and occasions to flatter you, and their compliments and words feel as if it's too good to be true. Like even if you make a small mistake they talk about it in a way to grab your attention and soothe you by showering their so-called compassion. You are clearly not upset about the same, but they seem to be upset so they will speak about it. It seems totally unnecessary and almost baby-ish.
They are Available 24x7, and Needy of Your Attention
The way they demand your time and energy feels like an obligation. Your boundaries have gone for a toss when you are with them as they want your attention the same way they give you the attention. In the beginning of the relationship it might feel like they care so much about you and have genuine feelings for you, but later on it feels like they are smothering you. You text them, they get you back in a microsecond, you call them, they pick up at the first ring, you ask them to come and they leave everything aside to come almost every time even for trivial things. You no longer have space to do things by yourself as they want to be around you all the time. This is a sure shot sign of being love-bombed.
Expectations Tall As a Mountain
All the things that they seem to be willingly and happily doing is just a facade. You can easily make out that you are being love-bombed when you know that their expectations know no bounds. They almost expect that you should be able to fulfill their hidden expectations in return for their grand gesture of love. These expectations could be ranging from anything between your time, emotional or physical energy, maybe expensive gifts as well. Love-bombers exhibit such kind of behavior only due to their attachment issues or a deep desire for a relationship out of perpetual loneliness.
Love bombing can be confusing and difficult to understand at first. If you think you are in a relationship where you are getting love-bombed please consider getting an outside perspective. You could ask for advice from your trusted family members or friends. Another best way to go about it is to get therapy and understand how healthy relations are forged.