Publication date November 20, 2023
5 Simple Steps to Cultivating a Cherished Circle of Mom Friends
Finding and making new friends as a mom can be hard, even if you have had a pretty easy time making friends throughout your adult life/.
Especially if you are a new mom, you can quickly start to feel isolated if you live away from family, have mostly single girlfriends, or are the first one of your friends to have kids.
But, having a group of mom friends in those first few months and years of early parenting can boost your overall physical and mental health. Also, friendship can make the adjustment to motherhood so much smoother.
So if you are a new mom or mom living in a new neighborhood, wondering how to make friends as a mom, here are my top 5 tips for building the perfect tribe of mom friends you can really count on in your area.
1. Put Yourself Out There
One of the first reasons why it is difficult to make mom friends is that as a new mom, you might often avoid going out. I am sure your baby sleeps a lot, but that does not mean you need to be home all the time.
You can use this time as a perfect opportunity to meet new people. Put your little one in the stroller and walk around to explore the neighborhood. A baby in a stroller can be a perfect conversation starter.
You will be surprised to see how many people will stop to look at and comment on your cute little baby and though it might seem annoying at first to you, don’t be afraid to use it to your advantage.
We all know that as human beings we all love connecting with new people. You never know who will have a newborn baby or a friend with a baby the same age.
You can also find your local playground, sign up for a music class, or look online for local meet-up mom groups.
2. Make the First Move
If you really want to make new friends as a mom, don’t wait around for other amazing moms to come up to you. If you find someone you could connect with, simply go up to her.
You need to remember that we are all in the same parenting boat and that other moms, no matter how they may appear to be, are just as curious about mom friendship as you are.
So start a conversation by complimenting her and find something you like about them or her kid and tell her. But make sure the compliment is sincere or it will come across as a vapid pickup line.
You can also find ways to engage children first such as bringing extra toys to the park. Kids will automatically gravitate toward balls, bubbles, and push toys. The more you have kids, the more moms you attract.
3. Get Contact Information
Now when you have started a conversation and shared a few laughs, be sure to end the conversation with some plans such as a supermarket meet by exchanging contact information with your potential mom friend.
First find out how your new friend likes to be reached, phone calls, texts, and emails, and stick to that. Exchanging contact information is a must, if you want to build a long-term friendship with your new friend.
Otherwise, you end up stuck in this limbo of let's do this again sometime, even though it may be months before you find each other. In case she tells you to find her on social media platforms, be sure to get her last name.
Or offer your information first and ask her to reach out to you. But don't feel disappointed if she doesn't reciprocate or follow up. You can try connecting with other moms. No matter how awkward it may be, find a curtain way to stay connected.
4. Plan the First Playdate
If you are looking for how to make friends as a stay-at-home mom, planning a playdate would be the best idea for you.
But a first playdate can be anxiety-provoking for both of you. As the two of you are still searching for some common ground while trying to keep an eye on the kids.
In the best-case scenario, the kids will play on their own and you'll have enough time to get to know each other. The worst-case scenario is that your kids demand too much attention and there is pulling, pushing, and wailing that disrupt the personal interaction with your new friend.
So, try to schedule a playdate at a time and place that works best for you and your cold. If you feel your little one is happiest and most energetic in the morning, suggest meeting then.
If your baby is typically overstimulated in new environments, host a playdate at your home. But you also need to understand that it is not just about how your child feels, if feeding time makes you nervous, avoid a lunchtime playdate.
If something doesn't work for you, it's totally fine to say so, but always offer options and suggestions so the other mom sees you're committed to forming a friendship.
5. Confirm the Connection
Even if you have some things in common, like kids of the same age, or a house on the same street, does not mean you will like each other’s company or want to have a long-term friendship.
Finding and making mom friends is all about trial and error, but if you don’t try you won’t get anywhere. That is why it's important to go into a playdate with a positive attitude, but also to be realistic.
Remember that not everyone has to be your new best friend, but hope that you can like and respect another mom enough to spend an hour or so a week with her.
Especially if your little child gets along well with her child. Also, you never know who you'll meet through a new friendship. There are still other moms you can find and connect with to form a lasting friendship.