Publication date December 20, 2023

8 Signs your Best Friend could be sabotaging your relationship


Imagine you’re loving being a love bug in your amazing new relationship, everything is rosy and peachy, you feel all the butterflies that people write songs about… but your best friend’s constantly there to burst your bubble by being snarky and a big fat weirdo. If you’re reading this, you do have a friend who you suspect could be getting too involved in your relationship. 

Why does my friend sabotage my relationship?

It's wonderful to share our excitement, enthusiasm, and hopes with a friend. But not everyone who says they intend well actually does.  It's not always the case that friends who spend time with you and laugh with you will support you during difficult times.

They can be acting out negatively because they are envious of you. It is also possible that your friend is unaware of how their actions impact you and that, as a result of their own fears, they unintentionally ruin the friendship.

Before we jump into the troubled waters of envy, friendship, and relationship; just remember that people who rain on your parade are just jealous of your sunshine and tired of their own shade. 

Do you have friends who’ll be there for you when the rain starts to pour? Let’s find out!

Your friend keeps bringing up your past relationship

If you’re hanging out with your BFF and your new love, and the former finds odd ways of bringing up your embarrassing past relationships or exes, then be alert. They might dig up your old secrets and present that to your partner in form of humor. It’s disrespectful to both of you.

Your friend thinks your date is not good enough

Hey listen, if you’re happy, that’s all that should matter right? If you all head over heels for this dude, and your friend thinks otherwise, then there’s something off. By off, I mean they might be trying to ruin your relationship. 

Your friend encourages unfaithful moves

If they’re constantly pushing you to indulge in one-night stands, introducing their single friends, dragging you to a singles-only bar, and basically encouraging adultery moves, then it’s time to take a step back and rethink your company. They clearly don’t want your relationship evolving into something better.

Your friend makes flirtatious innuendos on your partner

Oooh, this is the worst kind! In an era where women need to have each other’s back, there are some rotten apples in the bunch who stab you from behind. But how do you tell if your friend is being friendly or flirty with your partner? If they put you down, call your partner and talk for hours, invite them over without you, there’s a good chance your friend is getting too involved and wants to wedge a knife in between you two. 

Your friend makes you ignore your lover

A true friend is the one who gives you your personal space to connect with your new partner and get to know each other better. Instead, if they are keeping you engrossed in meaningless conversation or distracting you when your partner needs your attention, maybe it’s time to make some new friends.

Your friend disrespects your partner

If your friend talks lowly of your partner, who you find perfect, they don’t mean well. It could be dissing their choice of clothes, the car they drive, questioning their choices… it’s highly disrespectful and puts you in a juxtaposition and can drive your partner away from you as well.

Your friend speaks ill of you

If your friend threatens to reveal your dirty secrets, disrespects you in front of your date, or constantly pulls insulting jokes on you… it’s not cool! They should help you impress your date and win over them, not make you look bad. So, if they’re doing it, you’re better off without them.

Your friend blows small fights out of proportion

Every couple has their differences, and as a friend, they should have your back but try to find a sensible solution and not add fuel to the already burning fire. So, if you ever feel your friend seems more upset than you in the fight, they’re faking it. They just want to make things look worse than they are.

How Jealousy can Sabotage your relationship

Jealousy is mostly a key driver behind relationship sabotage. Addressing jealousy can be challenging, but it’s essential to do when you want to protect your relationship.   You can try to understand why your best friend is feeling jealous and work together to find a solution that benefits both parties. 

Jealous friend

For example, you might try to include saboteurs in your plans or reassure them that they’re still an important part of your life. And if their jealousy is fueled by envy, you need to set clear boundaries to protect your relationship. 

It’s also important to keep in mind that jealousy can stem from a variety of sources including past experiences, insecurities, and even societal norms. When you understand the root cause of jealousy you can help yourself and your partner address it more effectively. Moreover, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about what you’re feeling and your concerns and to listen actively to their perspective as well.

How to Rebuild Trust After Your Relationship Has Been Sabotaged

If your friend has sabotaged your relationship, you may need to rebuild trust before moving forward. Rebuilding trust can be a long and challenging process, but it’s important to address the issue head-on. To rebuild trust with your partner, start by having an honest conversation about what happened and how you can move forward. It also becomes crucial to set clear expectations and boundaries for the future and work together to create a healthier and stronger relationship that can‘t be affected by any third person. 

One essential step in rebuilding trust is to take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge the hurt you may have caused your partner. This can help your partner feel validated, and it can also show that you are committed to making efforts to make things right. But be patient and understanding, as rebuilding trust can take time and may involve many challenges along the way.

At last, you can also seek the support of a therapist or counselor. A trained professional can definitely help you and your partner navigate the complex emotions and challenges that come with rebuilding a relationship. A counselor or therapist can provide guidance and tools for improving communication, setting boundaries, and strengthening your relationship overall.

Have you ever been in a position where you had to choose between a friend and your date? What would you do if you find out your best friend of years is not a big fan of you being happy in love? Let us know down in the comments below.

Frequently Asked Questions 

Q. Am I sabotaging my relationship? 

If you notice any self-sabotaging signs including gaslighting, criticism, difficulty maintaining relationships, and jealousy in you, then yes, you’re sabotaging your relationship. It’s important to recognize these signs in your behavior and fix it before it's too late. 

Q. How a woman sabotage a relationship? 

A woman can sabotage a relationship by underestimating her partner. She will frequently criticize his opinions, whether they are wrong or right. Also, she may keep taking her partner for granted, putting the relationship in an unstable state. 

Q. How to fix a friendship you ruined?

If you want to fix a friendship that you ruined, it's best to begin by saying sorry, because it will not only ease their pain but also show that you really want them to be your friend and are ready to make an effort. And even if you feel like you didn’t do anything wrong, know that you still had some part to play in the fight. So say sorry if anything even happened incidentally. 

Q. Why do exes ruin relationships?

Most of the time when your ex tries to ruin your relationship is because they want your attention and want to see how their effort affects you. Many exes sabotage their former partner’s relationship to make themselves the center of attention and intentionally upset their victims.

Q. How do Friends Destroy Marriages?

If you have a friend or even a best friend who often manipulates you, takes advantage of your kindness, or uses you as a dumping ground for their negative emotions, there is a good chance they won’t play well with your spouse. And instead of having a conversation with your partner if you stand to defend your friend’s bad behavior, then it will likely lead to conflict in your marriage.

Q. What do you call a person who ruins relationships?

While there is no single word or universally accepted term for someone who ruins a relationship, however, there are some labels that can be helpful to describe that person including Narcissist, Abusive person, or Codependent person. 

Also Read:

Ending toxic friendships: My guide to making hard decisions

How to Deal with Clingy Friends Without Hurting Their Feelings

Is there any friendship more wholesome than Taylor Swift and Blake Lively's?

Love At First Sight Or Love After Being Friends


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