Publication date September 8, 2023
Don’t Give Up Hope! How to Fix a Broken Relationship
We live in a world full of fairy tales. From Cinderella to Snow White, Disney movies have all made us think that love was easy and that we can all just ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
But that’s not the reality for most people. Relationships and marriage are not always easy. And let’s face it – Disney movies do not represent real life, unfortunately. Although most of us know this, we still hope that we will be one of the lucky ones who will have that perfect relationship.
So, why is it that this doesn’t happen for a lot of couples? There are many reasons. And think about it – no one took a class on how to have a happy relationship or marriage. As a result, we all just have to “wing it” and hope it works out for the best.
Source: Ellwood City Ledger
The only “lessons” we have come in the form of role models from our parents. And for many people, this model of a marriage/relationship wasn’t always good. Because of that, a lot of us don’t learn how to have a happy, healthy partnership. And we also don’t know how to fix our relationship if it needs to be done.
But if you are in an unhappy relationship, there are ways to fix what is broken and save it if you try.
First, let’s talk about some of the common causes of broken relationships.
Causes of Broken Relationships
While each couple is unique, there are some common reasons why relationships become unhealthy. Let’s take a look at some of them.
Neglecting your partner and relationship
Relationships are like plants – if you don’t “water” them, then they will die. Just because you “have” your partner doesn’t mean that you can just sit back with a sigh of relief and not give any more effort. You have to pay attention to your partner’s needs and prioritize your relationship.
Laziness and neglect can go hand-in-hand. A person might neglect their partner because they are lazy. Sitting on the couch in front of the TV or immersing yourself in social media or video games won’t fix your relationship. Both people have to put in effort to keep the romance alive.
In healthy relationships, there needs to be a good balance of selflessness with selfishness. In other words, both people need to put each other’s needs equal to – if not before – their own. Neither can be completely selfish or else the relationship will inevitably fail.
Source: Journey Into Love
Lack of communication
When we say communication, we mean quality communication. Sure, you can yell and scream and name-call. That is technically “communication.” But if there is too much of that going on and not enough positive strategies to work through your conflicts, then that will ruin any relationship.
While children are a blessing, they can also be stressful in a marriage or relationship. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, so it’s inevitable that less time will be devoted to your partner. On top of that, if each person has a different parenting style, then it can cause problems in the relationship.
How to Fix a Broken Relationship
You might feel like it’s hopeless to fix your relationship, but it’s not. Yes, it will take some effort from both of you, but it can be done. Here are some things you can do.
Acknowledge that you have a problem
You can’t change what you don’t recognize. So, you need to admit that you might have a serious problem. You also need to get your partner to admit it too. Ignoring your issues won’t make them go away. Just like an alcoholic needs to admit they have a problem and has to change, you have to do the same thing.
Do some self-reflection
It might feel like all the problems in your relationship are caused by your partner, but that’s rarely the case. Although it’s difficult to admit when you are at fault and doing something wrong, you just might be. So, examine your actions and see how they might be contributing to your unhealthy relationship.
Take personal responsibility
After you have acknowledged what you have done to contribute to the state of your relationship, then own up to it. Stop blaming your partner because you can’t change them. The only person you can change is yourself.
Talk to your partner
You can’t fix your relationship by yourself, so you have to have a serious conversation about the things you need to change – both of you. Try to come up with a plan for doing things differently.
Try to see your partner’s point of view
Of course, it’s easy to see things from your perspective. But try to have empathy and see how your actions have affected your partner too. Step outside of your own mind and try to see the relationship from their angle. And really listen to them.
Source: Her Norm
Write down what you want to change
Both of you should collaborate and write down all the things that you think should change. Don’t get defensive when your partner tells you what they think you should change. Have an open mind and an open heart and try to fulfill their requests as long as they are reasonable.
Go on dates
If you aren’t spending quality time together, then you’re never going to be able to rebuild the emotional bond between the two of you. So, go on dates. Even if money is tight, spend time going on a picnic or a long walk so you can talk. Make sure you don’t touch your phones and only focus on each other.
Write out an agreement
As the sayings go – “talk is cheap” and “actions speak louder than words.” It’s easier for both of you to say you’re going to do something than it is to actually do it. So, write out an agreement or “contract” and make each other stick to it. Hold each other accountable for the changes you said you would make.
It is important to remember that fixing a relationship is not a one-person job. You cannot do it alone. You have to have both you and your partner fully committed to the process, or it won’t work. That’s just reality, as frustrating as it might sound.
Rebuilding relationships isn’t easy, but it can be done when both of you want to do it. While it’s better to not let your partnership become unhealthy if the first place, if you do resurrect what you once had, don’t let it slip away again. Make a commitment for the long haul and honor your partner so you can have your happily ever after.