Publication date January 4, 2024

Don’t Give Up Hope! How to Fix a Broken Relationship

Dr. Carol Morgan

Carol has a Ph.D. in communication, and is a professor, writer, speaker, and coach.

We live in a world full of fairy tales. From Cinderella to Snow White, Disney movies have all made us think that love was easy and that we can all just ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

But that’s not the reality for most people. Relationships and marriage are not always easy. And let’s face it – Disney movies do not represent real life, unfortunately. Although most of us know this, we still hope that we will be one of the lucky ones who will have that perfect relationship. 

So, why is it that this doesn’t happen for a lot of couples? There are many reasons. And think about it – no one took a class on how to have a happy relationship or marriage. As a result, we all just have to “wing it” and hope it works out for the best.

The only “lessons” we have come in the form of role models from our parents. And for many people, this model of a marriage/relationship wasn’t always good. Because of that, a lot of us don’t learn how to have a happy, healthy partnership. And we also don’t know how to fix our relationship if it needs to be done.

But if you are in an unhappy relationship, there are ways to fix what is broken and save it if you try.

First, let’s talk about some of the common causes of broken relationships.

Causes of Broken Relationships 

While each couple is unique, there are some common reasons why relationships become unhealthy. Let’s take a look at some of them.

Neglecting your partner and relationship

Relationships are like plants – if you don’t “water” them, then they will die. Just because you “have” your partner doesn’t mean that you can just sit back with a sigh of relief and not give any more effort. You have to pay attention to your partner’s needs and prioritize your relationship.

Laziness

Laziness and neglect can go hand-in-hand. A person might neglect their partner because they are lazy. Sitting on the couch in front of the TV or immersing yourself in social media or video games won’t fix your relationship. Both people have to put in effort to keep the romance alive.

Selfishness

In healthy relationships, there needs to be a good balance of selflessness with selfishness. In other words, both people need to put each other’s needs equal to – if not before – their own. Neither can be completely selfish or else the relationship will inevitably fail.

Lack of communication

When we say communication, we mean quality communication. Sure, you can yell and scream and name-call. That is technically “communication.” But if there is too much of that going on and not enough positive strategies to work through your conflicts, then that will ruin any relationship.

Children

While children are a blessing, they can also be stressful in a marriage or relationship. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, so it’s inevitable that less time will be devoted to your partner. On top of that, if each person has a different parenting style, then it can cause problems in the relationship.

How to Fix a Broken Relationship 

You might feel like it’s hopeless to fix your relationship, but it’s not. Yes, it will take some effort from both of you, but it can be done. Here are some things you can do.

Acknowledge that you have a problem

You can’t change what you don’t recognize. So, you need to admit that you might have a serious problem. You also need to get your partner to admit it too. Ignoring your issues won’t make them go away. Just like an alcoholic needs to admit they have a problem and has to change, you have to do the same thing. 

Best Relationship

Source: Healthshots

Do some self-reflection

It might feel like all the problems in your relationship are caused by your partner, but that’s rarely the case. Although it’s difficult to admit when you are at fault and doing something wrong, you just might be. So, examine your actions and see how they might be contributing to your unhealthy relationship. 

Take personal responsibility 

After you have acknowledged what you have done to contribute to the state of your relationship, then own up to it. Stop blaming your partner because you can’t change them. The only person you can change is yourself.

Talk to your partner

You can’t fix your relationship by yourself, so you have to have a serious conversation about the things you need to change – both of you. Try to come up with a plan for doing things differently. 

Try to see your partner’s point of view 

Of course, it’s easy to see things from your perspective. But try to have empathy and see how your actions have affected your partner too. Step outside of your own mind and try to see the relationship from their angle. And really listen to them. 

Broken Relationship

Source: Her Norm

Write down what you want to change

Both of you should collaborate and write down all the things that you think should change. Don’t get defensive when your partner tells you what they think you should change. Have an open mind and an open heart and try to fulfill their requests as long as they are reasonable.

Go on dates 

If you aren’t spending quality time together, then you’re never going to be able to rebuild the emotional bond between the two of you. So, go on dates. Even if money is tight, spend time going on a picnic or a long walk so you can talk. Make sure you don’t touch your phones and only focus on each other. 

Write out an agreement 

As the sayings go – “talk is cheap” and “actions speak louder than words.” It’s easier for both of you to say you’re going to do something than it is to actually do it. So, write out an agreement or “contract” and make each other stick to it. Hold each other accountable for the changes you said you would make. 

Final thoughts 

It is important to remember that fixing a relationship is not a one-person job. You cannot do it alone. You have to have both you and your partner fully committed to the process, or it won’t work. That’s just reality, as frustrating as it might sound.

Rebuilding relationships isn’t easy, but it can be done when both of you want to do it. While it’s better to not let your partnership become unhealthy if the first place, if you do resurrect what you once had, don’t let it slip away again. Make a commitment for the long haul and honor your partner so you can have your happily ever after.

Frequently Asked Questions 

Q. How to save a relationship?

Saving a relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners, but it's possible with the right steps! Here are a few key areas you both need to focus on to save your relationship:

  • Open and honest communication
  • Empathy and respect
  • Positive intent
  • Quality time
  • Shared activities
  • Physical affection

Q How to fix a relationship that is falling apart?

When you feel like your relationship is falling apart, energy is off, negative, or tense, or maybe you've actually been fighting a lot without any satisfying resolution, here are some points you need to consider: 

  • Open and honest communication 
  • Find out the core issues 
  • Try to understand the other person 
  • Express apparition 
  • Spend quality time 
  • Physical touch 
  • Shared activities 
  • Celebrate small wins 

Q. What to do when your relationship is at breaking point?

When your relationship is at breaking point, talk to your partner honestly about your concerns, and let them know that you're contemplating whether the relationship can actually work. Don't threaten your partner with a breakup, but make sure they truly understand how seriously you're taking these issues.

Q. How to start over in a relationship? 

When a couple decides to restart their relationship, focusing on some key areas could make the difference between making the relationship work and repeating harmful patterns and fights that led to the breakdown in the first place. Here are some helpful tips you can implement to restart a relationship:

  • Set realistic expectations
  • Create shared goals
  • Close the door to unwanted experiences
  • Focus on your own personal growth work
  • Create rituals of connection
  • Learn how to have stress-reducing conversations
  • Help your partner co-regulate their emotional state
  • Celebrate small wins 

Q. Does space help a broken relationship?

Yes, space can sometimes be beneficial for a broken relationship. Taking time apart can help both individuals to reflect on their feelings and gain perspective. It can also provide a chance for personal growth and self-discovery.

Q. How to save your marriage when it seems impossible?

To save a marriage when it seems impossible requires a deep understanding of the underlying challenges. It’s important to identify the root causes of the problems you’re facing. Are they communication issues, time issues, financial stress, or personal differences? Acknowledging these challenges is the first step when you’re finding a solution. Here are some other key areas to consider:

  • Effective Communication
  • Quality Time Together
  • Rekindling Romance
  • Seek Professional Help
  • Trust-Building Exercises
  • Set Realistic Expectations
  • Self-Reflection
  • Support Networks
  • Forgiveness and Letting Go

Q. How to win your wife back?

To win your wife back you first must come to a clear understanding and acceptance of where your wife is emotionally.  Then you should start consistently responding to her in appropriate ways that will allow her to open her heart to you, and be willing to engage in the process of healing her heart and repairing the relationship.

Q. How to Fix a Broken Marriage?

Fixing a broken marriage demands commitment, effort, and open communication from both partners. Only if you and your partner are both willing to put in the work, and can truly acknowledge your part in contributing to the current state of your marriage, and will actively attempt to change your behavior in a way that best suits your relationship, then your marriage be fixed.

Q. How to reconnect with your partner?

Reconnecting with your partner can be as simple as rediscovering the joy of each other's company. From open and honest communication and quality time to shared activities and emotional vulnerability, certain techniques can guide you toward a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship. Keep in mind that communication, effort, and celebrating each other are key ingredients to a thriving relationship.

Also Read:

Assertive Behavior: How to Speak Up for Yourself Without Being Aggressive

Should I Move on? 7 Signs He's Not Worth Waiting For

Author: Dr. Carol Morgan








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