Publication date June 16, 2023

Ending toxic friendships: My guide to making hard decisions

Walter Winchel once said, “A real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” And walking out on a friend is the hardest thing anyone can ever do but sometimes we need to make those hard decisions. No matter how hard it is to end a friendship, sometimes it becomes a necessity when we are dealing with a toxic friend. But it’s easier said than done so today I will share what worked for me and hopefully, it will work for you as well.

Source: wikiHow

Do you need to do it?

It was a rough time for me and I didn’t know what to do. And it’s normal to be a little confused so the first thing I did was honestly evaluate my relationship with my friend to know whether there’s anything worth saving. Being honest is very important when you are making such a crucial decision.

Also, being completely honest with myself helped me detect all the toxic behaviors which led me to take the decision. So you should also look out for these things if you need to be sure.

Is your friend constantly making humiliating comments about you?
Is your friend not respecting your boundaries?
Is your friend acting selfish?
Is your friend belittling your achievements?
Is your friend only giving out negative vibes?

Once I asked myself these questions and as soon as the answers were clear to me I knew I had to block out my toxic friend.

How am I going to say it?

Once I decided of confronting my friend I got overwhelmed with all the things I wanted to say. I had so much that I wanted to get off my chest and didn’t know where to start and where to end. And then I decided to write everything down and it helped a lot. I even practiced in front of a mirror before I confronted my toxic friend and trust me you should do the same. It helped me stay calm in the moment and I said everything that I needed to.

What am I going to say?

What you are going to say is as important as how you are going to say it. But you need to be clear and you need to make sure your words are heard. I have often seen toxic people being very clingy and usually they don’t take no for an answer so staying firm while getting your point across is very important. When I was in a similar situation I was persistent and made sure I got my message across. I did not stop until I pointed out everything in their behavior that impacted me and you also should not back off until you have said everything that you need to say.

Never again!

The whole purpose of confronting my toxic friend is to make sure they cannot hurt me again in the future. But to do that I needed to do the most important thing, establish firm boundaries. In the past, I was unable to do the same and this led to negativity from my toxic friend and I was not going to make the same mistake again. I do think this is the most important step and if you too don’t want any toxicity in the future from your friends then set clear physical and emotional boundaries.

I hope these steps will help you if you also have a toxic friend in your life.

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