Fix Your Communication Skills and Save Your Marriage From Blowing Up!

Source: The Express Tribune

Hold Space for Each Other

Things can get heated in the spur of the moment and one may end up saying things they don't mean or in some cases one might end up saying something that can cause a permanent rift in the marriage. During times like this it’s essential to take a step back and hold space for each other instead of calling it quits. Holding space for each other means creating a safe space with your partner both while being together and being apart. Your partner should feel safe talking to you about anything and providing that open space and support. 

Listen to Understand

We don't listen to understand, we listen to reply. Having a healthy marriage requires one to have good communication skills and that begins with active listening. The intention to listen should be to respond by understanding what your partner is going through and not by reacting. Reactions are always quite impulsive and not well thought out which leads to more and more misunderstandings over time. 

Source: Plantation Relationship Counseling

Keep Assumptions at Bay

Assumptions can create a spiral of negative thoughts that are hard to deal with when it turns into resentment. Assumptions ruin the relationship and this clearly starts showing in the way one communicates. When you think your partner is silent and not talking then you assume they might be angry and this can further increase the intensity of the problems that are already present in the relationship. 

Use “I” Statements in Face of Arguments

Using statements that start with “I” when you feel like arguing shifts the way your partner sees you and helps you in not making accusatory statements. When one fights with words starting with “You” it makes your partner feel like you are blaming them, which might make them feel intimidated and also increase the level of guilt that is already present. Using statements that start with “I” can change the way the whole conversation sounds. For instance, “You never help me take care of kids” to change this to “I don't feel supported enough if you don't help me with taking care of kids.” 

Source: Marriage.com

Stop the Criticisms 

Growing criticism keeps the love away in any relationship. Criticism can be a way of implying that you would like to change something about the person or the relationship. Although constructive criticism is good for the growth of the relationship, when this turns into constant criticism it acts as a catalyst to create distance between the couple. Pair constructive criticism with loads of gratitude and compliments so that criticism doesn't feel harsh and negative. 

Stop Avoiding Difficult Questions

Communicating difficult things can be hard and asking those questions can put us and our partners in a state of vulnerability. Being in a vulnerable state is not always comfortable and requires one to cross their limits and boundaries. It holds true even for the couples who have been together for a long time. So avoiding difficult subjects in the marriage can be troublesome for the health of the marriage in the long run. Not tackling problems and handling difficult subjects can create a lot of confusion, imagination, ruminating over things that might not even exist in the real relationship.