Going through a nasty divorce? Self-love might help, but THIS will change your life

Source: Marraige.com

Cultivating self-love, prioritizing self-care and therapy can help a great deal but chances are feelings of guilt, shame, disappointment, and betrayal comes in ebbs and flows, and handling these feelings then becomes a mammoth task. 

So, what can you do to get through this and make tremendous progress afterward? Read till the very end of the article to find out what is the one thing that will help you sail through the storm. 

Getting over the denial phase

Even if you think you saw it coming, getting over this phase will take some time as coming to reality can be difficult. You may still find yourself dwelling on the patterns and habits that you had before you were married and subconsciously it may be difficult to recoup yourself to a new reality. 

A reality where you are separated from your ex-partner can seem unfathomable. This, however, is the first and foremost step of healing. As soon as you accept a new beginning and stop resisting the change that's coming your way you will be fine.

Feeling sudden shock

You might possibly get mixed feelings after learning the whereabouts of your ex-partner. You might hear about them from common friends or family relatives with whom you are close. You might feel numb and shocked if they are going through something bad or they begin dating someone else right after the divorce gets finalized. 

All of these things might confuse you and create mixed feelings within you. Feelings arising from these situations are normal, but it doesn’t validate why you choose to divorce them in the first place. Let these currents of emotions pass and settle down until you can clearly recenter yourself to balance. 

Source: Focus on the Family

Coming to terms with co-parenting

If you have kids with your ex-partner, you might have to see them quite often than anticipated. Your ex-partner might have shown up at your home unexpectedly to see the kids and made you upset. At this point what you could do is set boundaries, and not just set but practice these boundaries and be fierce about the same. You need to establish some rules and make certain to them about when and where your ex-partner or their family can meet your kids if they are under your custody. 

Dealing with life not feeling the same

Life is not gonna feel the same whether you like it or not and dealing with it head-on will be a constant need and challenge. Coming home all by yourself, staying alone, eating alone, and going to bed alone might make you feel like life has no meaning. You might feel tempted to go back to your ex-partner but know that all it is gonna do is hurt you in the process and you might end up being at square one of restarting your healing journey. 

Source: GoodTherapy

Letting yourself grieve even if it seems unexpected

Grieving can seem like a long journey, something you cannot control. So, being patient with yourself while you grieve, whether it takes a few months or years is necessary. It might seem very unforeseen to you even after all the work you have put into healing yourself, and you still feel like you are not over them. But, we assure you, strong woman, you are going to feel like you have got over all of this at the snap of your finger in no time, and the self-care you did was never wasted. 

Learning to embrace the unknown

You don’t know what’s there for you in the future, you constantly worry whether you are gonna wind up alone while your ex-partner has already found someone to marry. The constant thoughts of “Why did this happen to me?”, "If only I was better” and “How come they get to have someone so soon?”, “Did they really love me?”, can also haunt you at times. Embracing the journey of delving into the unknown with a steadfast mind will help you embrace it. Keeping this mindset will definitely open you up to new possibilities.

Having said this, to have the FAITH that something good will come out of this, and keeping that FAITH no matter what life throws at you is that ONE thing that can change your life completely. So, strong lady, keep your crown high and the faith intact.