Publication date October 18, 2023
How to Deal with Clingy Friends Without Hurting Their Feelings
Exhausted with your clingy friends? I know how clingy friends can put a lot of pressure on you as well as stress on your friendship that can ultimately exhaust you mentally.
We often believe that we should always be there for our friends, but when you have clingy friends, this principle gets blurred. Because a clingy friend can not expect you to fill every void or fulfill their every need.
Source: YourTango
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And when it comes to this point where a clingy friend gets out of your hand and starts to control your life, it can be daunting.
But, still, because they are your friend, you don’t want to hurt their feelings or let them down.
In such a situation, you must be questioning how to set boundaries with a clingy friend so you can put your mental health and wellness first.
Dealing with clingy friends requires open communication, patience, and some blunt honesty. And if that is not quite specific enough, Here are 7 ways that you can try to deal with your clingy friends:
1. Don’t ghost them
If you are thinking of ghosting your clingy friends, you need to know that this might seem like an easy thing to do with your clingy friend, but it could be very disrespectful and not something that any decent friend would do.
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If you have already started ghosting them by not answering a lot of their texts or making excuses such as lying that you have some emergency whenever your clingy friends try to have conversations with you.
This ghosting strategy might not work as well, your clingy friend might try harder to hang out with you because she thinks that you are so busy. And even if this ghosting thing does work, you will badly hurt your friend’s feelings.
2. Say No
Instead of ghosting or avoiding not answering texts to your clingy friends, it is better to respond in a more honest way.
If you have already some plans with some other friends, tell your clingy friends that and promise you will hang out with them next weekend.
And if you are spending time with your family members or if you want to watch TV alone and don’t really want to spend time with anyone, tell them as well.
If they are your true friends, they need to be able to respect your space when you ask them to without giving any unnecessary stress.
It is a good thing to learn how to say no because saying too many yes to your clingy friends can cause habits to start forming and that is something that can always trap you.
3. Talk to them about their life
When you hang out with your friends, what do you talk about? Do you often talk about random things? Or do you always talk about your own life?
When you have a clingy friend, it makes sense to avoid them for your mental peace but have you ever thought about what is the reason behind if they are clingy with you?
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If you really don’t want to hurt them, then you need to talk to them about how is their life, or what is going on with them.
Maybe, they are clingy with you because of their fear of rejection or a lack of attention at home or some other issues. So, you never know what’s going on with a clingy friend.
4. Encourage Self-Reflection
You can gently guide your clingy friends to reflect on their own behavior and the impact it has on the friendship.
Simply, help them understand the need for balance and respect in your friendship. Encouraging your clingy friends to engage in self-reflection can be a powerful way to change the friendship.
Also, you need to create a non-judgmental space for your friends to express their thoughts and feelings.
Make them feel that self-reflection is a valuable tool for personal growth and that you are there to support them in this journey. Through this, they will be given some time to reflect on their patterns of behavior and the underlying reasons behind their clinginess.
5. Introduce them to other people
Your friends are clingy maybe because they don’t have many other friends besides themselves, and that is why they have a fear.
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In such a case, it would be best if you invite them along on group outings with your other friends and introduce them to your other friends.
When they connect with other people, it might take some of the pressure off you and make your friends even happier.
6. Let them know how you feel
Instead of accusing them of anything, you should talk to your clingy friends about how their behavior is making you feel.
Use “I” messages, say something like, “I feel bad when you text me all day and I don’t have the time to respond to you,” or you can say “I feel worried when you seem to need me all the time, is there something wrong?”
Just keep in mind that you don’t need to make them feel bad for their behavior, try to help them be aware of it and how it makes you feel.
Simply let them know that you are there for them if they need you, but you have other friends and obligations that also need you.
If they don’t understand it and make you feel guilty then it is one of the signs of clingy friends.
7. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries sometimes becomes the biggest step toward the self-love journey. You need to set some boundaries for your clingy friends by telling them that you want to remain friends and be in their life.
But they should understand that you have other people in your life as well who also need your attention, and will make time for them when you are free.
If you still don’t have free time to talk or hang out with your friends, they need to understand and respect you.
Figuring out how to set boundaries with a clingy friend can be a tough process. Because you want to be there for them but also need your space for good mental health. The good news is, you can have both if you use the above given 7 methods.