Publication date March 10, 2023

My brother’s girlfriend got alienated because of her vegan options.

I (27F) recently got engaged to my long-term boyfriend and had an engagement party this past weekend. 

We kept the engagement party a close affair as we invited only his and my side of the family with a few close friends that we mutually have - about 35 people. 

The dinner was held at a nice Italian restaurant and we had booked it a month ago so that there weren’t any last-minute hiccups. Our invites gave our guests the option to choose between meat and fish as we had a few who had only fish and we did not wanna upset them. If they needed any other option, they could definitely let us know so that we can arrange it accordingly. 

Now, my younger brother calls me a week before the dinner and asks if he can get his new girlfriend to the dinner as his plus one. I told him sure and told him to choose his meal option and he chose meat. 

The night of the dinner comes, and everyone’s having a sweet time and enjoying themselves. I meet the girlfriend and she’s sweet too. 

When it’s time to eat, she hurriedly pulls one of the waiters and asks him if he could get her any vegan options. He looked confused and told that they got salads, roasted potatoes, and other veggie options that he could bring to the table. 

She loudly starts mouthing the waiter asking him if vegan means only eating raw veggies and no options like pasta, or noodles in such a reputed restaurant. She kept on and on about how this was discrimination and that she needs to have something other than veggies. I did not know that she is vegan and surely my dofus brother did not mention this to me. 

My brother tried calming her down as the families were involved in the dinner and he did not want to create a scene. Instead, she bashes me saying that I should have chosen a different restaurant that had vegan options on their menu and she feels all alienated at the table because of me. 

I explained to her saying that she had sent out the invites 3 weeks ago and a week before, she did not even know that she would join nor she was a vegan, where the reservation was done a month ago in the restaurant. 

She started saying that it was pretty embarrassing of her to let one of her guests starve and called me ‘small-minded’ because I did not keep the vegan option. I got annoyed and apologized saying that I will take care of ‘her’ requirements in the future and I really think she wouldn’t be even around for such occasions in the future. 

She ended up leaving and my brother left as well. The next day, I get a call from my brother saying I was very rude to his lady and I need to apologize for the last remark. Nobody’s thinking about the logic behind it, instead are telling me to apologize to her. AITA for making her feel alienated? 

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