Why Do Teenagers Turn Against Their Parents? Will They Ever Come Around?

Source: ParentMap

The prefrontal cortex is a critical part of the brain responsible for many executive functions, including decision-making, planning, reasoning, and impulse control. It is not fully developed until the mid-20s, and during adolescence, the prefrontal cortex is undergoing significant changes and maturation. This can result in teenagers having difficulty controlling their impulses, engaging in risky behavior, and being more prone to emotional outbursts. However, these experiences can also help them learn and develop important social and emotional skills that they will use throughout their lives.

It is not uncommon for parents to sometimes project their own experiences, fears, and hopes onto teenagers, and this can impact the level of interaction and perception. Teenagers are beginning to come into their own selves with their own unique experiences, thoughts, and feelings and they may not necessarily follow the same path or choices made by their parents. By respecting their autonomy and allowing them to make their own decisions within reason, it can show that they are trusted and valued as individuals which can in turn strengthen the relationship. Although, it is important for parents to strike a balance between giving teenagers independence and autonomy while also setting clear boundaries and expectations. Through communicating that they understand and respect the need for independence, but also maintaining their role as the authority figure, parents can create a healthy and supportive family structure. Setting boundaries and expectations can help teenagers understand what is expected of them and can help develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. It's important for parents to be consistent and firm in enforcing these boundaries, while also being willing to listen to their child's perspective and adjust when appropriate.

Source: Greater Good Science Center

If you want to connect with a teenager try using humor, a good approach would be to ask them about their interests and try to find common ground. You could suggest watching a funny movie or TV show together or even playing a game that involves humor. It is important to encourage teenagers to use humor in a way that is positive and respectful to others. As for using humor as a way to diffuse a difficult situation, approach this with sensitivity. While humor can be a great tool for defusing tension but ensuring that it's not dismissive or invalidating the teenager's feelings. 

Positive connections with family, friends, and other supportive adults are critical for the healthy development and well-being of teenagers. When teens feel connected and supported, they are more likely to take risks, try new things, and explore their interests and passions. This can lead to the development of new skills and experiences that can boost their confidence and self-esteem. Having a network of positive relationships can help teens build resilience and cope with challenges and setbacks. When teens face difficult situations, having supportive connections can help them feel more secure and confident in their ability to navigate the situation. These positive connections can also have a lasting impact on the future relationships and families that teens will build later in life. When teens experience healthy relationships and learn effective communication and problem-solving skills, they are more likely to seek out and maintain positive relationships in their adult years. The fostering of positive connections with adolescents is a vital part of supporting their growth and development into healthy, happy adults.

Source: Lifeway Research

Many factors contribute to the way teenagers behave, including environmental factors, socialization, and personal experiences but validation and praise are critical to building healthy teenagers. Teenagers are often struggling with their self-image and self-worth as they navigate the challenges of growing up. As an adult, validating their experiences, feelings, and thoughts, and praising their efforts, achievements, and positive traits can help them develop a positive self-concept and improve their overall well-being. It is also important to distinguish between approving of their behaviors and approving of them as individuals. While it is essential to communicate disapproval of negative behavior, it is equally important to separate that from your approval and appreciation of them as people. Strike a balance between providing validation, praise, and approval and overdoing it. Overpraising or over-validating teenagers can have negative consequences, such as reinforcing a sense of entitlement or creating an overly dependent relationship. Providing validation, praise, and approval is critical to a teenager’s healthy development but it should be done in moderation and with an understanding of the individual teenager’s needs and personality.